Handsome & Smart
by isabellaelisa
Summary: Since Catherine came back from Afghanistan she is dealing with some problems and Steve tries to help her in the best way he can. Meanwhile, Catherine discovers something about their life together.


**First of all, thanks to all of you that reviewed and favorited the previous stories. All of that means a lot to me! Thanks! Thanks! Thanks!**

 **This is my third story, without a Beta reader, unfortunately... But I had written this for a while and I wanted to post it. I hope that I will not lose my inspiration and write some more stories... And find a beta reader! Thanks!**

 **Enjoy it!**

 **Note: This story can be considered a sequel from "Stronger than Before"!**

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 **04:00 AM**

He doesn't need too much to wake up. If someone beside him moves too much, he knows for sure. Catherine seems agitated. Since she came back and moved in to his house he knew that she will needed time. God! He knew this since the first night they had spent together in this house. After some talk and after hours of lovemaking, he had stayed awake just to make sure that she was there with him in his arms. But as he watched her sleep he noticed that she was incapable of having a deep, quiet sleep.

And he was noticing that right now. It's been almost three months since she was living with him. Steve was worried. Of course he had talked to her, asking if she needed something… if she needed to talk… if she needed to do something about it. But, she always had said "don't worry, I'll be fine".

Definitely, in this moment, she is having a nightmare, and it is time to Steve do something about it. He embraces her and smoothly whispers in her ear.

"Cath, wake up. I'm here. Everything is fine. Cath…"

Suddenly she opens her eyes and just stays quiet looking to Steve with very bulging eyes. Steve says nothing. Just tightens his embrace hoping that she will be okay. He feels Catherine's hand in his arm and closes his eyes.

"I'm okay, Steve. I'm okay."

"No, you're not."

Again the silence settles between them. Catherine makes no effort to get out of his arms, as she had done so many nights since she had nightmares beside him. Since she has returned from Afghanistan, in fact. Steve feels that perhaps now is the best time to tell her that she has a problem and they will fix it together..

"We need to talk about this. I know what you've been through. I've been there, for God's sake. And you know what made me feel like a human again? You. Your presence, our talks, everything. You know that, Catherine."

Steve interrupted his words. Strangely, she doesn't say anything and this is new for him. Maybe she knows that it's time to solve her own problems.

"You need to do something about this. If you can not beat what you lived the way you have been trying to, you need to find another alternative. But, please. Don't close yourself to me, Catherine. I need you and you need me. We both know it."

He starts to hear her crying, which was not what he wanted.

"Damn it! I'm sorry Catherine. I don't want to make you cry, I'm sorry. I… I just don't know what to do to help you. I'm sorry…"

Catherine turns around, never leaving his embrace. She stares at him and says:

"Every day I stayed there, every time I was near to death, it didn't scared me. I just couldn't forgive myself. And I still can't do that."

Steve clearly doesn't understand what she is saying. She was sorry for staying there for so long? Or was something else?

"What are you saying, Cath? Do you have any regrets for staying there all this time? You shouldn't. Look what you've got. You've saved Najib and the vi…"

"I've almost lost you."

The sadness in her eyes made his heart cry.

"Don't say that, Catherine. We've talked about this. Don't go there."

"I almost got you killed. You'd almost died because of me!"

Catherine's voice has risen a bit. Steve was taken aback for this sudden revelation. For him everything was in the past and he didn't felt that she had put him into danger.

"You were just doing the right thing there. I know that Catherine. I don't blame you for that."

"You blame me for the terrible year you had."

"What?"

Catherine gets up from bed leaving his arms and doesn't answer him.

"What are you saying Catherine? You've hurt me, yeah. I can't lie about that. But I don't blame you! How could I?"

She is dressing herself. Never looking at him. The tension is now in every part of Steve's body, but he is trying to stay calm.

"What are you doing, Catherine? What the hell are you doing? I just want to help you."

Catherine grabs a bag from the closet and starts to put some things in there. She is leaving, that Steve is sure. He gets up and closes the distance between them. He forces Catherine to look at him and asks again:

"What the hell are you doing?"

Silence is her response. Steve breathes some air and asks:

"What is the matter? Look, if you don't want to talk I will shut up right now. But, please, don't do anything stupid."

"I've done so many stupid things, Steve. So many... But I can't do this anymore. I can't bear it. I can't stand being here with you as if nothing had changed... as if nothing had happened."

"What are you talking about?!"

The tears are streaming down her face again. He just holds her arms, hoping it would be enough to stop her packing. But he is wrong. Catherine turns herself and continues packing. Steve doesn't know what to do and just stays there watching she closing her bag.

"Catherine, please. Don't go. It's middle of night. I'll sleep in the couch and you stay here."

"I'm sorry, Steve. I've got to get out of here."

She passes Steve, opens the bedroom door and just disappears. Steve doesn't moves from his spot and hears the door downstairs closing.

 **In the morning…**

Kono had texted him saying that Catherine had stayed in her and Adam's house. At least he knew that she was safe. He rewound their conversation from last night over and over again. And, there was something that she was thinking, that was causing the most of her suffering. Something that she was not telling him. And suddenly it strikes him like a rock. He gets up from his chair near the beach and runs inside to the house.

She couldn't believe. After screwing up so big with Steve she couldn't believe that Kono was right. My God! She loved Steve so much that sometimes she couldn't deal with that. She had learnt to lock her feelings which was the way to deal with them. But with Steve everything was different. Her emotions were in a rollercoaster.

Catherine was at "her favorite spot from this island", as she had told once to Aunt Deb. She is looking at the ocean, trying to collect her emotions, because life was like a tidal wave that was knocking her from her feet over and over again. She needs to have the straightness to talk to Steve. And she needs to get back the old Catherine. And maybe Steve is right. She needs help.

He is looking at her sitting in a bench admiring the sea. It wasn't necessary asking Kono where she was. He knew that she would be there. This place is where they had met so many times after his work when she was on shore leave.

He is starting to walk to where she is and she gets up and turns around. Those beautiful eyes would trap him anywhere. He smiles and gives her a sign for her to stay where she is. He comes closer and gives her a kiss in the cheek, sinking himself in the bench. She does the same thing.

"You know me well."

"This is also my favorite spot on the island, Cath."

She smiles.

"I see that you've talked with your aunt."

They look at each other, and Steve doesn't say anything. Just by looking at her he knows that she has something to say.

"I'm sorry, Steve. I'm so sorry for the last night. I don't know why I left. I think that I was so frightened and at the same time so embarrassed because I was scared and I didn't know what to do. I… I'm sorry. Of course I want your help, I want your love… For God's sake! I want you. Everything you've got… I want you."

Steve was caressing her face.

"I want you to, Catherine. I just… Don't run away from me. Please. Don't do that to yourself. I'm serious here Catherine. How can you even think that you put me in danger? I knew what I would have in front of me when I decided to go with you to Afghanistan. You can't blame yourself for what happen with the Taliban people. It was not your fault. You don't have to carry that burden with you."

Catherine's eyes widened at the Steve's words. How could she not love him? He had said everything that was consuming her all these months.

"I… How did you know it?"

"Just put some pieces together…"

She stares at him for a moment and says:

"I've been right all this time: you're handsome and smart."

They laugh. And it was so good for both of them. They needed that joke, but she has to do the right thing.

"I want to talk about that, Steve. And, I don't need nothing more than I need you. I just… I don't know. I'm different. Before, I would never run away from something that I couldn't deal with. But now… I just… Will you help me, please? Help me to find myself, Steve."

Steve just hugs her.

"I will, Cath. Forever. Don't doubt that. I love you so much."

"I love you to, Steve."

They stayed like that for a few minutes, but there is something more that she wants to say. She moves away a little and looks straight into his eyes.

"Despite all that, I discovered something today that I have to tell you."

"What? That I'm handsome and smart?"

He says with a big smile.

"Well, I knew that a long time ago… It's… Uh… Maybe you should see for yourself."

She grabs her purse and takes a pregnancy stick and its instructions for him to read. Steve is speechless.

"Uh… It's a…"

She hands it to Steve and is necessary a little time for him to understand. Another big hug comes up and she feels safe. Again.

"I can't believe it. We're going to be parents…" - He whispers to her ear.

"I love you Steve."

"I can't believe this is happening!"

He grabs her face and just says:

"I love you so much, Cath!"

And he kisses her knowing that their whole world is changing.


End file.
